No Sense of Humor: The Final Chapter: For Now

'Lives of living death': The reproductive lives of slave women in the cane world Seasonal variations and age-related changes in human sperm count, motility.

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So this one girl there, a biggy with nice eyes, is just raising hell screaming and crying for no reason. Well, then she vomits. We give her some water and she clears up enough to walk to her bed for the night. Well… Almost.

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I got the privilege of walking with her to ensure she falls the fuck asleep. Well I set her in bed and tell her good night. She starts crying and saying that I hate her and I want to leave her all very true at that point. So, I tell her no, no and sit on the edge of her bed finishing my drink. She then says she wants me to join her because she's cold and doesn't want to fall asleep alone. I, for whatever reason, thought that was an amazingly innocent and possibly good idea. Well I get in bed and she starts kissing me and I start back. Then she pulls off my pants and starts blowing me.

Well, she's wasted so her teeth slip in every once in a while so I'll moan, which she mistakes for me telling her she's doing a good job. She continues this for half an hour I checked the clock across the room cuz I got bored. Over that time, 3 of my friends walk in on me on three occasions.

I start to go limp, but then she goes for gold and tries to deep throat. Well… She got more than she bargained for and choked. Most girls would gag and open up and let you pull out. She bit down like a motherfucker. I screamed as her best friend walked in. She fell off the bed and I was ashamed and suddenly sober. The next morning her other friend slapped me at breakfast.

TL;DR: a fat drunk girl blew me after prom and nearly bit my dick off as her friend walked in on us. I went to a top Ivy League school by some stroke of luck. When I arrived, I was sexually frustrated and had only lightly kissed a boy. I was pretty hot at that point in time thin, blonde, doll-faced, tan , but I was also a SAP. The other problem is that throughout my entire life, I have never been attracted to men my age.

They have to be at least years older. So all of the undergrad guys were out of the question. This left no one for me to hook up with, given my inability to non-awkwardly meet anyone older. One day, at the start of my sophomore year, I was perusing Craigslist as this is part of my daily internet ritual.

I Cheated with My Husband’s Best Friend

My heart raced. Here was the type of situation that I had fantasized about for years. Initially, I intended to just send him some teasing emails to blow off a little titillating steam.

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But turns out that his writing was really sexy. And that I was really horny. After many exchanged dirty emails, photographs with faces blurred , it came to light that he was actually a professor at the same university I attended. Now keep in mind that student-professor relationships were strictly forbidden. But we decided that we needed to go ahead with it anyway. At this point, we were sending dozens of emails a day and I couldn't think about anything else other than fucking this guy.

We decided that we needed to see each other in person. We started telling each other where we'd be and which coffee shop we'd be working in, so that we could show up and ogle each other from across the room. We never talked… too much risk since we both knew plenty of people around the area. Finally, we decided that we had to have each other. I didn't tell a single soul about my Professor. I snuck him through my shared suite and into my private bedroom. We said only a few words before we started furiously making out. What followed was a torrid, frenzied nine-month affair. I gave my first blow job, lost my virginity on the floor of the library.

Snuck him into my room almost every day, after having developed a complex system of secret signals and code emails. Wore my high school plaid-skirt uniform and let him wear his suit and tie and put me over his lap and spank me. Tied him up, got tied up. Smeared nutella all over his naked body. Got bent over the book stacks, hearing other students walking around on the same floor, fucked from behind. It was many months before I even found out his incredibly sexy name. Eventually, he took a job at another university, and I settled down with a long-term boyfriend.

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No one ever found out. UncleTogie :. I'd had a few similar moments, but the one that sticks out the most was when a friend of mine and I were busy with our girlfriends, dining at the Great American Pink Taco Stand in the same room. My friend thought this was hilarious, and immediately started laughing… right into her honey-box. About a half-second later came the funniest queef I think I'll ever hear… For the life of me, it sounded like it was laughing back at him… The room erupted in belly-laughs, sexytime was cancelled due to mirth, and all was amusing in the kingdom.

In high school I went to my Gf's house. She was there with four of her friends. One being her gay friend. The girls all agreed that if I let him fuck me in the ass, I could fuck all the girls.

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Let me just say I got to nail all the girls that night. HexxVonDoom :.

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Stood up with a mouthful of jiz, amd a grin in 2 minutesflat.. Now, its not like we were overly concerned about the proper scientific way of running this, since, well, we were drunk.. In my days as a drug dealer a lot of freaky shit happened. During a time I was selling a lot of extacy and coke, I was living with two strippers. They were hot as hell, and my best custies. Threesome , Hardcore , Slut.

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Fucking My Sister’s Best Friend, Princess Yummy

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